Dreamerslea

On life and friendships

2005-04-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

What is love? we all think that is a question that we can answer so easily. But is it? Is it really? Though every answer harnesses the shear awarness of loves existance it is rarely as beautiful as one could hope. Love to me is loyalty and the extended friendship of family. It a sensation which makes tears fall and your heart soar! But because love is like a bird. It often flies away. Leaving the softest white feathers at your feet. It seems on this warm evening I have loved and lost. Not the kind of love that ensnares passion or piety. But the kind of love that is required of a best friend.
For 11 years she was that. no other was revered more then her in my eyes. I gave to her my secrets my dreams and my ideas and she gave me hers. I have failed I guess but in her eyes I am selfish and spiteful. Yet, I am nothing more then I was on the day we met. Just me . My ideas may have changed a bit with the years but my hopes my dreams and my vision have stayed the same.
Like her I have had a family and sometimes Dreams get entangled with
bathtime and meal making. But I have always tried to make time for my best friend. I may, I supposive be what she implied. Yet I am blind. I stumble back on the last few weeks looking for the day I made the mistake. I think about each time I called and she was too busy or was not available and I try to think what , dear goddess did I do wrong.
And now I see as my eyes are no longer blinded with the veil of stupidity that to some love is expendable and means nothing if it does not suit the needs of that person. Friends are expendable and so now is family. I will never be the person to let my friends drift when I am needed most. I promise now that here forth I will love with my all and I know that one day my soul will be thrown to the side out of shallow miscontempt ..But i will not let this stop me. There are people in this world who love the same way I loved. and there are others who are not capable at all. I as of this time will never choose the person who cannot love me for who I am. I will choose only those who can see me through the eyes of an equal. Who enjoys my creativity and passion for life. as I would enjoy thiers. Let me stop now as this post is begining to sound like a want ad. haha!
But remember we all have one friend no matter how lonely we are . I am my friend and you are yours.

CHEERS
Lynda and Heather! Thank you for moral support and for the walks !
Mandy~ for trying ....I know your intentions were good. But hey now I know!
Rod~ I love you
Sonia~Damn I couldn't spell it again! You have come so far this last month! I'm proud of you! Keep it up! You rock .. By the way it is 10 pm want a cappucino?
Jodie and Gabe~ Water implies emotion. Thank you for making my emotions pure! and watch the rest of the movie! you'll like it!

JEERS
Bob~ Ummmm can I please have my coat back now? LOL boooo
awwweeee nobody really should go here

FINAL WORDS>.
In my eyes you will find my soul , I will share it but it is delicate so please be gentle. (whisper) to the sky I reach for heaven and my love abounds to the earth and her creatures let me take you with me.

Spinning

2005-04-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

Spinning

Here the air
rushes by
The spinning of
clear blue sky
My feet moving
swiftly on the sand
My body young
still understands
My heart full
Of Laughter
My mind singing
happily after
I am here alone
spinning
spinning
dancing to the
Joyous song
Knowing here is
where I belong
Somewhere between
God and earth
a moment such
I got here first
spinning
spinning
I dizzy from the
swirling space
I slow to a
swaying pace
and lay upon
the ground
it is comforting
to be down
though I lie still
the world is
spinning
spinning.

My world moves and turns.... I long to touch the hearts of others. To trust their trust and to love their love.

MY LIFE
Dreams do Come true! Though I did not take the path I thought I would ! I have still arrived at where I would like to be!
I am writing now for Groove Machine Magazine, I encourage all of you to look at the site it promises to be awesome! http://www.groovemachinemag.com
I will be back later with cheers and Jeers... I promised the kids I would take em out today!

Joeseph a light to dazzle the soul!

2005-04-02T20:05:00.000-08:00

I just recently met Joeseph, Spectacular he seems!
Always so full of life and seemingly ready to take on the world, No matter how small the steps where to taking it.
Like me, Joeseph has epilepsy and suffers from it almost daily. My seizures are a small bother compared to what he faces daily.
today I recieved an email from his mother stating that Joeseph has had
a pretty bad seizure and was unable to write me today . She asked for me to keep him in my thoughts and prayers.. I ask you as my friends to do so as well. For those of you who call on energy please do.
You see Joeseph is not your ordinary guy, Though I do not know him well
Joeseph has already made a lasting impression on me. Through his daily emails he has made me laugh smile and came very close to making me cry! 1 little light on the horizon he is . 1 little light can guide a man home. And that is so important!
Love you much joeseph please get better!
Tawny

SHHHH the wind is speaking

2005-03-30T14:04:00.000-08:00

With time we have learned to shutter from the wind. To close our windows and bundle up as she seeps into our homes.
It is her turn to speak!
Shhhhhh the wind is speaking.

My children
I carry to you now
a whisper, a secret
a lost love who's memory
has again turned to you.
I carry to you
warmth ,
upon a summer day
I childhood memory
or a memory in play.
Do not hide from me,
for i am nothing you should fear.
I want only
for you to know
the things that disappeared
I carry to you
A thought upon an ocean breeze.
was it not me
who inspired you to
paint a mountain scene?
I carry the cold,
Yes , that is the truth.
I carry word of death
but i carry their spirits too.
I bring forth the storm
to raise the water wells
I sweep them from your
place so you may
have the sunlight
on your face.
My friend,
I offer you the voices of the
wolf
So his song
Can be carried
from the ever bidden
wood.
and when you need
some comfort
I will bring that too.
I ask only that
you laugh for me.
And I will laugh for you.

Cheers
Gabe and Jodie~ For that full moonlit night of laughing and learning I will never forget it!
Joeseph~ You endure so much in life. Yet you radiate light .You truly are an inspiration!
Rod~ My best friend , My husband. You allow me the trust to learn so much about myself. I wil allow you the same. When all others have turned I know I can look to you. Thank you for the last 6 years you have been my hero!
Sonni~ You truly love the eccentrics!Thank you for the Ear and shoulder!
I am thankful for it! If we could turn back time to when we were all perfect in our minds then we would all still be friends. We all change and we all learn even flowers wilt, but they can be replanted regrown stronger then before!
Trystn~ I'm sorry I hae lacked the time to create and dwell with you! You are a wonderful person and may you find your castle of roses!

JEERS..
I am in no mood for the belitteling of others no matter how horrible they have been. So Jeers only to those who know they have erred and may you find your given path!

Is my Blog HOT or NOT?

2005-03-19T20:10:00.000-08:00

Make sure to vote for me.......Oh yeah do it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Work work shop shop whew!

2005-03-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

Hello All !
Actually i am just showing My hubby how to work a blog woohoo!
Anyway keeping you up to speed while i am here.
I got A new Job and yes it is online!
Submitting keyword articles woohoo spending cash!
Anyway did a lil easter shopping and picked out some really cute
outfits at hot topic ( maybe someday I can buy em ) LOl
ON to the raves!

CHEERS
Jessicca- For hanging out with the Alki's and stayin around ...Your so much fun!
Lynda- Shopping woohoo
Rod -open Minded I hope your having fun with this!
And well any one else i forgot

JEERS
Stupid liquid eyeliner (shallow i know)
Wendy's - Why not carb free?

Right
Um Left
Wrong
right

final Words
If size really mattered no one would be married.

Sorry!

2005-03-16T15:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry it has been forever since my last post!
Ive had Alot going on! writing and doing some singing.
Well I have Managed to get to 6000 words in my book woohoo good ole 10k on it's way .
Lots of Drama with some of my friends.......ooooo I hate drama LOL
Anyway I will try to post more tommorow!

CHEERS
Dawn = emotional support and letting me vent
Casey =for getting your guy back!
Heathen= for sticken the drama out!
KFBB= Carrot Top tickets

JEERS
The psycho in livingston= you can stop sending me IM's now im not interested
Drama at legends= nobody really gives a sh*t about who your sleeping with!

RIGHT
Chating
Wrong
Freaky stalkers who think you must sleep w/ them beacause you catted w/ em

Final words
Is the sky reall y blue ? Grass really green? Or are you really color blind?

AGHHHHHHH

2005-02-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

Hello all!
well I am utterly hungover from my night out with Rod. I soaked half the day in the bath and now it is time to get back up to speed... That Is we are rearranging the house today. Ugh
well . friendships are mending and things seem to be making a turn around !!! HOORAY!
well red on for the CHEERS AND JEERS!!!

CHEERS:
Jen: for watchin my boy
Lynda :for taking my shit last night
Justin n Jeanne : for being cool and coming to a resolve on everything.

JEERS:
The a-hole who took my drink.soooo not cool

Right: X-BOX
Wrong: Recalls

Final words : So many Bars soo little money.

Infatuation

2005-02-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

The thought
caries through
your mind
and you cannot
clear it's path
Your heart trembles
your breath quickens
and you long for
a touch, a look,
A kiss.
A reminder
of why you have
to suffer the pain
of being distanced.
It is just infatuation
This will pass.
soon you will
look for a new
toy or plaything
to comfort your
eye.
In the midst
you have created,
Mayhem . Destroyed
my peace my world.
With your infatuation.

HOLY WHAT????

2005-02-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

What a day though some of it is...MUCH to personal to blog about . It was still very eventful!
Well I went out last night got nice and comfy at Kareoke... And right in the middle of my Immortal My voice went out! Oh man that totally blew . I have never wanted to walk away so bad. Then it seemed as if the phone would just not quit ringing today. Thats fine I love my friends.
Well the kids got me a New Vacuum for my bday . Woohoo. I also got that Pentacle Ive been dreaming about. and a whole slew of great stuff ( see the cheers section) Blah Blah. It's time for me to go.... Wee hours leave othing to be desired.

CHEERS!
Lynda : For the great perfume ,earrings and Lotion. You Rock babe!
Heather : For All things HAPPY BUNNY!!!!
ROD: Need I explain?
Mandy : Roses Jewelry Cake.
Jen: my little pay for it all!
Nick : For the ride lol
Seth: hanks for helping out.. I thought I would Die!
Casey: For Everything and Anything.. I can't wait to see you again!
Jen, Heathen , Heather, Lynda , Mandy , Grandma B , Seth , Tim, Jan , Skippy , Amber , Christie and
Everyone else who made Wensday Just Friggen Awesome ......What would I do with out such awesome friends!

ANYONE WHO BOUGHT ME A DRINK!!!!! Double CHEERS!

Jeers.
A CERTAIN GIRL WHO WORX FOR A CERTAIN TV STATION WHO THINKS SHE IS HIGH AND MIGHTY >>>>>>>>Just remember the law of 3

Final Word.
You know what ...why the hell do I put that there!?

Mid day madness

2005-02-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

2 pm what are you doin? I as usual have taken my seat in my little blue cahir in front of my computer contenplating all the awesome Joys the Goddess and God have given us! No matter which religious path you follow or wich diety you serve . May your day be peaceful and full of Joy!
Sincerly,
Me

Good Morning

2005-02-16T00:46:00.000-08:00

Good morning all ,
As the sun is shining nd the early spring is springing ,You my friend are sitting in front of the computer. Yes YOU!!!
Now don't ya feel lazy. No need . I obviosly am sitting here writing this so I am sitting here as well.
So Today is my birthday .i am 26 today as I was last year and will be again next year. Yes I have finnally achieved the infamous female holing pattern.
Well I probably won't post again until later tonight or tommorow morning as I will be having a girls night out tonight! woohoo.anyway gott run. Heres todays cheer and Jeers

CHEERS
Jennifer...For the Labret ...I love it!
Rod ...for understanding that I must express myself...Even if it is through Freaky fashion statements..
Mom & Dad for the wonderful bracelet.

JEERS
none today i'm feeling to good.

Happy Valentines Day

2005-02-14T14:37:00.000-08:00

OHHHHHH love!
What the heck! Valentines day can be the sweetest day of the year but foor some it is full of pain and spite. SO a little tip for today ..Remember to send someone who doesn't have a signifigant someone a card or gift! or just a hello!

TAXES ,
YEEEEHAW the check is now i just need to spend it lol.... No seriously time to go pay some bills!
sooo i may check back in tonight but heres todays Cheers Jeers and everything good and wrong!

CHEERS
again to Kim andTrenton! (no changing this until they have the baby)
Casey for bearing with my emotional angst!
IRS for givin me the money!

Jeers.
Double chins.......WHY OH WHY ME!!!!!!!!
Chocolate........Yeah I bet the diet industry just loves Valentines day

GOOD
internet
Wrong
dial up

FINAL WORDS
If I were you and you were me would it be any different?

Rantings of a sunday afternoon

2005-02-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Good day,
Today is Sunday ,My day actually has just begun . Yup, thats right I slept half the day away and I rather enjoyed it. So to all my friends and Family I thought I would put up a more informal spot .Where you can see whats up with me.
Today I intend on doing nothing more then sittin around the house and working on my story for my upcoming book.
I also have been offered to add my services to Soulfulwriters web page and publishing company as a graphic designer . talk about doors opening!
As many of you know I have worked for close to 9 years on The current Collection of poetry that I have completed. I am releasing them now as short poetry books. The first book is available through bell Jar books as an ebook and will be available march 1st for 1.99 . Entitled Dreamers Lea (meadow of Memories) 20 poems for the soul.
The second has not had a realease date as of yet.
I will also have many poems released in a collaborative effort called muses for the soul by soulfulwriter productions . I recieve the dummy for that today.
So obviously this week has been ultimatly exciting.
I also want to Take this time to shout out to some of my friends.

Congrats to Kim and Trenton!!!!! On the Soon to be Baby!
Hooray Jason and Stacy !!!!! Get to go to Alaska!!
OH and yippeee for Mandy's new Digital Cam (she's camera happy)
Thanks to Seth .........for massive computer help!
Good work..Dad on the new webbie!!!
And to all my friends who are not posted hoorah!!! You guys are awesome!

yes guys I will change the hooray board quite often so keep checking back!
be sure t stop by my web site ..and say hello!

Welcome All !!!!!

2005-02-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome all! This is my first try at blogging so forgive any occurence of error.
I am just gonna use this post as an intro to myself.
I am a 27 year old Mother of 4. I enjoy writing poetry and Stories. I love to paint with many different mediums . You can view my work at my web page! Dreamerslea!

Have an awesome day all!